We’ve reached the halfway point of this “event series”. I’m sad that its gone by so quickly, but happy that it happened at all. That sounds like a yearbook quote.
The episode opens with Gabrielle and Christine having lunch. Gabrielle assumed it was a date and is mortified when Christine tells her otherwise. She’s new at this dating stuff. Or non-dating, as the case may be.
Meanwhile, someone has leaked Shay‘s unfinished pre-autotuned song on social media. Her singing matches her acting abilities. She jumps to the conclusion that Zach (cute assistant/stalker guy) did it. Her private investigator later reveals that Shay’s stylist is the culprit. But, he investigated Zach too and found his stalker wall. Really shouldn’t leave that out in the open. Brian confronts him. In the least surprising moment of the night (and the series), Zach blurts out that he’s BAG’s son. Who didn’t see that coming?!
Jennie and her hot-bodied bodyguard, Wyatt, continue to flirt. Unfortunately, the stalker hasn’t popped up in awhile so Fox is having Wyatt reassigned. But then someone sticks a knife in Jennie’s tire. Is it the stalker? No, it’s her stupidly-named daughter, Kyler. She wanted Wyatt to stick around to make her mom happy. But, he can’t date a client. Jennie has him reassigned, choosing a hookup over her own personal safety.
The day of the table read has come. Everyone except Shannen attends. She’s still negotiating her deal with the network. Turns out she’s not missing much since the script sucks. Anna really got it wrong and the cast revolts. That night they gather for the reboot’s launch party and bash her writing again. Anna storms off. Christine warns the cast that without a writer, they’ll have nothing to shoot tomorrow. They decide to fix the script themselves. Because writing is so easy. As usual with this crew, fighting (and making up) ensues. Ian, who has been clashing with Anna the whole episode, secretly records it all and sends her the video. He gets in her good graces while giving her inspiration for rewriting the reboot.
In the midst of this, Shannen arrives. But she’s freaked out by all the negative energy (she’s annoyingly New Age) and runs away. She’s reconsidering doing the reboot altogether. Tori reports back to Christine, who reveals that Shannen is making twice as much as everyone else for the reboot. Wonder if that was true in real life? Tori tells the rest of the gang and they confront her. She manipulates them into forgiving her by telling them that her salary is going to orphans. Uh, sure, Shan.
Elsewhere, Gabrielle and Christine share a sweet moment. They almost kiss, but Gabrielle is buzzed and doesn’t want it to be like this. Later on, she loosens up and goes for a full on makeout session. Maybe she’s getting the hang of this girl-on-girl thing.
Once again Tori is dealing with her stupid husband. First, she tries to take out any David/Donna love scenes so as not to upset him. But then she’s the one upset when he prefers hanging out with Shay over her. Luckily, Brian gives her a pep talk. By the end of the episode, Tori is confessing to Jennie that she has feelings for Brian. You and all the “Silver Daddy” fans, girl.
Anna returns with a better script that everyone loves. Good work, Ian. The next day, on the lot, the cast discovers that someone has painted “stop acting like I’m not here” on the stage door. And the set is on fire. Cue the “reboot has gone up in flames” jokes.
I liked that this was a Gabrielle-centric episode, with her hilarious nightmare about being back on the show in full Andrea garb. Those 90s vests! And her touching speech about feeling like she didn’t fit in with the others back in the day because she was the oldest. She’s getting better stories here than she ever did on the original 902010.
Kyler auditioned to play Jennie’s daughter in the reboot, but she can’t act. Then she whined about getting a smaller consolation part. Riveting. Are we supposed to hate all the wives and children on this show?
I’m not down with this New Age version of Shannen. Hopefully there’s a better story for her in the last two episodes. I did like her nod to Brenda’s horrible French accent from season three of the show. Exactement!