We’ve come to the end of the road. Like a sad Boyz II Men song. It’s time to wrap up everything for the last episode. Fingers crossed that there’s more in the future.
The cast has gathered at the Peach Pit for the reboot wrap party. Everyone’s surprised that they actually finished the pilot. Now they just have to wait…and wait for news about a pickup. Unfortunately, The O.C. made their own reboot that’s vying for a slot on Fox’s schedule. To be honest, I never got into that show. Orange County can’t compete with Beverly Hills. Just look at their Real Housewives.
Meanwhile, Jennie is getting attitude, again, from her teenage daughter. Oh joy, she’s in this episode. Much to her annoyance, Kyler idolizes Shannen. Who wouldn’t? Brian fills her in on Jennie and Shannen’s frenemy years. This includes the red dress story. Side note, that was a real thing. At the 90210 season three cast photo shoot, Jennie, Shannen, and Tori all wanted to wear a red dress (see photo above). It was a bloodbath. Well, not literally.
Shay confesses to Brian that she had her private investigator run a DNA test on Zach. Brian, you are not the father! He’s more upset about Shay doing this behind his back than he is about the truth. He accuses her of hating Zach from the start because the relationship wasn’t about her and she couldn’t control it. LaLa’s acting is atrocious throughout these scenes, as usual. On a similar note, Tori and her husband, Nate, continue to fight about the reboot. He finally admits that he’s jealous because the focus is on her while his career is flagging. Such a whiner. Tori and Brian commiserate over their horrible spouses and wonder if they would have been better off marrying other people. Just get together already!
Jennie breaks up with Wyatt after he reveals that he got her initials tattooed on his chest. Oh no, bodyguard. In the Caribbean, Jason tries to make a vacation work with Camille. She forces him to admit that he can’t accept raising another man’s baby. They amicably call it quits. This opens the door for a Jennie/Jason “reboot”. Again, just get together already!!
After an awkward run between Christine and her husband, Phil, Gabrielle comes clean to him about the hookup. He’d already guessed. That lesbionic tension was obvious. Gabrielle promises that she won’t keep him waiting indefinitely while she figures out what she wants. Meanwhile, Ian and Anna are in a NSA relationship, but he wants more. She tells him she’s not feeling that, especially since her mom is an actor. She can’t date one too. This prompts Ian to hookup with Denise Richards (a real original 90210 guest star). Later, it’s revealed that Denise is Anna’s mother. Ian’s appeal truly is multi-generational.
While waiting for the pilot news, the gang manages to get their hands on the feedback from the test audiences who have seen it. These people are not kind. Everyone gets trashed, sending the cast into a tailspin. My favorite comments are from the viewers who thought Brenda and Brandon had inappropriate sibling chemistry. Just like the old days. And the audience members who wanted Brenda to be a troublemaker. No, that was Kelly. “Kelly was a slut!” (Shannen’s words, not mine)
The cast hustles at the Peach Pit Pop-Up, meeting fans and signing autographs. Side note, this was a real thing in LA recently and I’m still sad that I couldn’t go. No megaburgers for me. Shannen shows up late, covered in blood, because she had to rescue a possum that had been hit by a car. Is there any animal she won’t save? Christine informs them that there’s only one slot left on Fox’s schedule. It’s between 90210 and The O.C. The latter tested higher. Damn you, Mischa Barton. They’ll find out tomorrow which one gets picked up.
Brian throws a BBQ at his place so everyone can get drunk while they wait for news. Zach shows up and Brian confronts him about the paternity results. Zach had no clue. His mother always told him that Brian was his dad. Brian assures him that, despite the results, he’ll still be in his life. Later, Brian also reports back to Jason about the paternity drama. He shows him a picture that Zach has of his mom with Brian, back in the 90s. Jason remarks that she looks familiar. And who happens to be in the background of the pic? Jason. He has a flash and seems to be putting something together. Jason, you are the father! Maybe.
The gang learns that the pilot has been picked up. Suck it, O.C. They fly to NY for the network upfronts. Hilariously, Jennie, Shannen, and Tori all arrive to the presentation wearing red dresses. Bloodbath, part deux. On top of that, Christine has more news: they have to redo the pilot, Anna is fired, they need new guest stars (sorry, Kyler), the series will shoot in Canada, and the network can’t afford to bring all seven cast members back. Yikes. Despite these bombshells, the cast has to walk out on stage and meet the press. They put smiles on their faces, hold hands, and march out. Well at least they’re together for now. The end…or is it???#RenewBH90210
The lame spouses and kids really brought the episode to a screeching halt every time they popped up. Nobody wants to see these fools.
Ian’s dream about 2019 Steve Sanders going back to the future to impart wisdom to his 1990s counterpart was funny. Stay away from mullets and midriff shirts, Sanders.
Shannen’s dream about Brenda and Brandon having a “flowers in the Casa Walsh attic” moment was pretty great too.
That was a good use of Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” at the upfronts.