NostalGeoff

We’ve reached the penultimate episode. This one felt scattered and too many pointless characters stole the focus. Hopefully, Ryan Murphy & Co. can wrap it up in a satisfying way next week.

Nosey reporter

We begin at a diner near camp. Brooke dreams of the future, post-killing Margaret. She may go to Australia like Crocodile Dundee. Goals. Donna tells her she’ll need all her strength if she’s going to be the Final Girl, the last woman standing, who defeats the killer, in scary movies. Brooke thinks they can both be final girls, but Donna explains that black people don’t usually survive horror movies. I hope she’s wrong this time. Their breakfast is interrupted by Stacey, a National Inquirer reporter. She’s on her way up to Redwood because she’s writing a book about Jingles & Brooke. She’s also very annoying. Brooke pretends she’s just a “Brooke-lookalike”, but Stacey isn’t fooled. Later on, she shows up at their motel room. She’s been doing research on Broke and Donna for her book. In order to keep her quiet, the twosome agree to give her material about their time at camp. She just needs to sneak them into Redwood. Donna thinks Stacey will expose them, but Brooke has a plan to kill her. Right when she’s about to cut her throat, though, Donna stops her. She reminds her fellow-maybe-final girl that she’s not evil like Margaret.

Mary Kay

Lucky for Bruce, a Mary Kay lady, driving a very pink car, found him on the highway and saved his life. But it was unlucky for her since he stole her car and killed her. She’ll never make her sales quota now. Bruce arrives at camp just in time to run down ghost Jingles, who was in the middle of a catfight (they rolled down a hill Alexis & Krystal-style) with Ramirez. Jingles ghost disappears leaving Bruce with his serial killer idol. He fans out and offers to help Ramirez find his nemesis. Meanwhile, Jingles comes back to life and encounters the hitchhiker guy from episode 1. Hitchhiker explains how he’s died more times than he can count and he loses a piece of himself each time. Jingles vows that won’t happen to him.

In memoriam

Montana and Trevor are basking in the afterglow, post-ghost-human sex. Is this Grey’s Anatomy? Trevor wants to stay at camp with her and declares his love. Seriously? As they leave the cabin, still canoodling, Margaret spots them. She’s not having the best morning since Courtney told her about the Kojagoogoo massacre. Poor Court had to dispose of the bodies. Good news: their ghosts are still around. “Too Shy” will never die. Elsewhere, Xavier takes Ramirez and Bruce to where Jingles body is buried. They figure his ghost will show up there. They’re right. Jingles appears and stabs Xavier to death. Before he can do the same to Ramirez, Margaret pops up and shoots him. That bitch. Later on, Margaret, Ramirez, and Bruce run into Stacey. She got away from Brooke, only to be murdered by this psycho trio. Margaret wants them to kill everyone else who’s coming up for the festival. Then she can turn Redwood into an 80s memoriam mecca and make money off the tourists. Again, that bitch!

Family reunion

Jingles comes back to life to again. This time he’s strung up by the vengeful counselors. He pleads with them to let him go so he can kill Ramirez. He has to save his son. He even throws it out there that Montana brought Ramirez to Redwood and really lit the serial killer spark in him. So, this mess is partly her fault. Montana surprisingly feels bad about this. She heads off into the woods where Trevor finds her. He’s decided to kill himself in order to stay at camp with her forever. Oh Trevor. Montana, still upset about Ramirez, rejects him. At the lake, Xavier and the other ghosts are killing Jingles slowly, preventing him from getting to Ramirez. It’s a real dick move. They toss him into a boat and set it off. Suddenly, Jingles’ brother, Bobby, pops up from the beneath the water and drags him into the lake. It’s just like the last scene in the original Friday the 13^th. Totally saw that coming. But I still jumped. Jingles comes back to life. Again. His mother and Bobby are having a picnic by the lake. He feels defeated for not being able to save his son, but his ghost family urges him to focus on being with them. He’ll find peace here. As the hitchhiker predicted, he’s lost a piece of himself. So, Jingles decides to stay. On one hand, it was a sweet scene. I’m glad he’s reunited with his family. On the other, I can’t imagine this being the end for Jingles.