NostalGeoff

Writing about the past in the present…
NostalGeoff
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    • The Boys in the Band…Remake

      Posted at 3:28 pm by Geoff, on October 4, 2020

      The Boys in the Band has gone from a play to a film to a revival of the play and finally to a screen version of the revival. It really has come full circle. The recent iteration came out on Netflix this week, fifty years after the original movie debuted. I was eagerly awaiting its release and I have to say that I enjoyed it as much as its predecessor.

      Gay, Gay, Gay

      The Netflix movie employs the exact same cast from the stage play. Having seen the play, I’m glad everyone was able to reprise their roles. They’re an extremely talented group. What’s also noteworthy is that all nine actors are openly gay. Back in 1970, some of the actors were gay, but nobody was out. It would have been career suicide. As it was, all nine actors, found it hard to find work after playing gay on screen. So, decades later to have actors who can be both open about their lives and still have thriving careers is incredible. Coming along on the journey was the late screenwriter Mart Crowley, who wrote the original play and movie. He was assisted by Ned Martel this time. Plus, Ryan Murphy and Joe Mantello acted as the producer and director, respectively, on the revival and the movie. Both are out. Overall, this project was pretty damn gay. As it should be.

      Chemistry

      Because the movie is so insular, chemistry between the actors is very important. They all have it and work very well with each other. Jim Parsons (Michael) and Zachary Quinto (Harold) do a particularly great job of playing off one another. Their characters are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. A kind gesture can quickly turn into an evisceration. Finding that fine line between love and hate takes skill. Similarly, Andrew Rannells (Larry) and Tuc Watkins (Hank) play a battling couple. They’re supposed to be lovers, but they can’t stop fighting.  Conveying that love with all the underlying tension and strife comes easily though. It’s also sweet to know that Watkins and Rannells fell in love, in real life, while making the revival.

      Cowboy, Donald, Alan

      The script for the remake stays close to the original, but there were certain additions. I noticed that the Cowboy (Charlie Carver) had a few more lines. This made it so that he was more self-aware as opposed to how stupid he comes off in the original. It seems like Donald (Matt Bomer) was fleshed out too. I think Bomer’s expressiveness added to the character. He says so much with that handsome face. On the flip side, I’m happy that they didn’t add much to Alan (Brian Hutchison). It has always been a big question about whether or not he was gay. Crowley could have updated his work and made that clearer. But I think it was better to keep it ambiguous and let the viewers draw their own conclusions.

      The Set

      As I’ve said before, Michael’s NYC apartment in the original movie is one of my favorite sets in cinematic history. I wanted to move in and live in that world. The Netflix version is equally admirable. A spiral staircase, the huge living room, and beautiful rooftop space. Amazing. But this time the set was deliberately made to look a little run down, which was smart. It made it seem more lived in. Plus, Michael could never afford to fix it up. He spent all of his money on sweaters.

      Outside the party

      Aside from the opening montage of the characters out in the city, the original contained the action to Michael’s apartment. This added to the play-like feeling when you watched it. This go around Mantello takes the audience outside the party. As they’re playing the brutal telephone game, Bernard (Michael Benjamin Washington) and Emory (Robin de Jesus) flashback to their past loves. In Bernard’s case you see the dreamlike night where he swam naked with a rich white boy. With Emory, you experience the humiliation he felt at a school dance after everyone finds out he confessed his feelings to his crush. Each flashback gives you the chance to understand and connect with these characters, moreso than the original allowed. On that note, after Michael’s last line, when the story normally ends, you see all of the characters and how they’re coping after that intense party. It gives the audience another chance to check in on them.

      The more things change…

      Despite some changes, the remake retains the essence of the original. I had a friend who asked if this version had the same self-loathing and bitchiness. I said, yes, and that’s the point. This is a look back at a time when gay men couldn’t be out or even legally gather together. They were made to hate themselves and some lashed out internally or externally. Shame can be dangerous.  The 2020 version doesn’t shy away from that. But then there are the lighter moments. I found myself laughing at the same jokes I’ve heard many times before or delighting in the dance number at the party. The highs and lows make the story interesting and relatable. For that reason, The Boys in the Band, however it’s presented, will always be worth seeing.

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      Posted in Movies | 0 Comments | Tagged 70s, Movies, Remake, Reviews
    • Killing Patient Zero…Review

      Posted at 5:26 pm by Geoff, on September 30, 2020

      Before watching the documentary Killing Patient Zero, I knew very little about Gaetan Dugas. It turns out he was a loving son, brother, and friend. He enjoyed his job as a flight attendant for Air Canada. He was also openly gay and completely unashamed of his life. The one thing I thought I knew about Gaetan was completely wrong: he was not the man who inflicted AIDS upon the world. 

      At the beginning of the epidemic, doctors were desperate to figure out how this “gay cancer” was being spread. They theorized that sex was the cause and began to interview a sampling of gay men about their sexual history. Gaetan was one of these patients who generously cooperated with the CDC. Doctors produced a cluster study that featured him, amongst others, showing how the disease had traveled through sexual partners. Later, Gaetan was mistakenly labeled as “patient zero”, as if AIDS had originated with him. Reporter Randy Shilts latched onto this false story when he was doing research for his novel And the Band Played On. He took it a step further by writing that Gaetan had knowingly passed on the disease to the men he slept with. Once Shilts’ book was published, Gaetan, who had died by then, was put in the spotlight and his reputation was savaged.

      Director/writer Laurie Lynd attempts to repair this damage in her documentary. Through interviews with healthcare professionals who were on the frontlines, he dispels the myth of a patient zero. They confirm that Gaetan was not the originator of AIDS. His friends talk about the warm caring man they knew. Someone who would not have purposely spread a disease. There’s even archival footage from a town hall meeting about AIDS featuring an outspoken Gaetan. The short video offers a much more accurate portrayal of him than Shilts’ book ever could.

      I finished Zero feeling informed about the subject and also angry on his behalf. It’s horrible how this man was vilified by the public. I hope that more people will see the film and get an understanding of Gaetan’s true character. He and his loved ones deserve that vindication.  

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      Posted in Movies | 0 Comments | Tagged 80s, Movies, Reviews
    • Shit & Champagne…Review

      Posted at 8:05 am by Geoff, on September 24, 2020

      D’Arcy Drollinger wears many hats (and wigs) in her new movie Shit & Champagne. The drag icon stars in, writes, and directs the action comedy based on her stage play of the same name. Set in 1970s San Francisco, the film centers on Champagne Horowitz Jones Dickerson White (so she’s been married a few times, it’s none of your fucking business!) a foxy stripper caught up in a tangled plot. She witnesses her boyfriend Rod’s murder at the hands of two hired goons (Manuel Caneri & Adam Roy) and sets off on a quest to find out who had him killed. That person turns out to be Dixie Stampede (Matthew Martin), an evil mastermind with a dastardly plan involving hard drugs and big box retail. Champagne vows to take down Dixie and avenge Rod’s death.

      It only gets more outrageous from there, but that’s intentional. Champagne is a send up of Blaxploitation films from the 70s, except with a white lead this time. So Whiploitation? It’s supposed to be over the top. Drollinger does a nice job of balancing the zaniness with well written comedy. It’s ridiculous in the best way possible. The production quality is great as well. At one point, Champagne and a goon get into an insane knockdown fight in a small bathroom. The sequence looks like something out of a mainstream movie with a larger budget. Well, minus the death by plunger. 

      Drollinger’s performance is the heart of the movie. She moves easily from sex kitten to clown and back again. Without her charisma the movie wouldn’t work. She gets ample support from Martin, the best campy high-kicking villain, and Steven LeMay, who plays Champagne’s ill-fated adopted stepsister, Brandy. LeMay steals every scene with her comedic timing and perfect calves. 

      If I have to offer any criticism, it would be that Champagne’s runtime is a little long and the leading man, Detective Hammer (Seton Brown), is dull. Aside from that this a dragtastically entertaining movie. 

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      Posted in Movies | 0 Comments | Tagged 70s, Movies, Reviews
    • Double Feature…Single White Female & The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

      Posted at 10:54 pm by Geoff, on July 28, 2020

      The other day I re-watched Single White Female & The Hand that Rocks the Cradle and realized they share many similarities. Both films came out in 1992 when sexy thrillers were very much in style (think Basic Instinct). So, you have a lot of the same themes and character traits reused between movies. Some hold up and others feel stuck in the 90s.

      Heroines

      Single White Female focuses on Allie (Bridget Fonda), a pretty twenty-something software engineer living in New York City. When she discovers that her boyfriend, Sam (Steven Weber), has cheated on her, she tosses him out. Soon after she puts an ad in the newspaper looking for a new roommate. After meeting with a few duds, Hedy (Jennifer Jason Leigh) strolls in. Allie has been crying over Sam and she listens as she blabbers on. They instantly bond and Hedy moves-in. Allie is so taken with her new roomie that she doesn’t bother to check her references. Big mistake. It’s one of several dumb moves Allie makes. The script makes her out to be fairly dense and co-dependent. She actually doesn’t need a roommate because she can afford the rent-controlled apartment on her own, but she can’t bear to be alone. Once Hedy has moved in, she can’t see how crazy she is until it’s too late and she’s duct-taped to a chair. That will open your eyes.

      The Hand that Rocks the Cradle has a different vibe, but a familiar story. Claire (Anabella Sciorra) is a wife and mother living in the suburbs of Seattle. During her second pregnancy, she is molested by her OBGYN, Dr. Mott. She tells the authorities, which causes other victims to come forward. The scandal devastates Mott and he commits suicide. His wife Peyton (Rebecca De Mornay) goes into premature labor because of all the stress and loses the baby. Months later when Claire needs help taking care of her daughter Emma (Madeline Zima) and baby Joe, Peyton arrives on the scene posing as a nanny. The doctor’s widow is set on revenge. Just like Allie, Claire is fairly gullible. She allows Peyton’s charm to win her over and doesn’t take the time to look into her references. How are these women allowing strangers to move into their homes without doing a simple background check first?! Also, Claire is extremely weak. There’s a recurring plot line where any stressor triggers her asthma and she has a massive attack. She could drop dead if someone says “boo” to her.

      Villains

      The villains in each movie are riding in first class on the crazy train. From the second she moves in, Hedy is obsessed with Allie. She wants to be the #1 person in her roommate’s life. She even buys a puppy so the two of them can take care of it. Poor Buddy gets tossed off the balcony when he seems to prefer Allie over Hedy. Only a true nutjob would kill a puppy! Later Allie discovers that Hedy has copies of all of her outfits. Then she takes it one step further when she gets Allie’s exact haircut and color. Ironically, this movie probably spawned a ton of mushroom copy-cuts in real life.

      In Peyton’s mind, Claire destroyed her family, so she’s going to steal hers. She gets close to Emma, winning her over quickly. Then she begins to breastfeed Joe every night causing him to reject his own mother’s milk. She attempts to ruin Claire’s marriage by making her think that her husband is cheating on her. Peyton won’t rest until her enemy is down for good.

      The men

      The men in these movies are basically props used to move the plot along. It’s actually refreshing since this typically happens to female characters. In both films, the villain wants to steal the heroine’s man. But it’s not really about the guys themselves. It’s more so about possessing everything the heroine has. In SWF, Hedy tries to dissuade Allie from forgiving Sam and getting back together with him. She doesn’t want to lose her position in Allie’s life. But she also wants to bang Sam herself. She succeeds in the latter point when she slithers into Sam’s bed. He thinks she’s Allie and goes along with the seduction. Once he realizes the truth, he doesn’t try too hard to push her off. But he instantly regrets cheating on Allie and hops out of bed. In this moment, we get some rare male nudity. There’s a flash of peen and a slightly longer butt shot with a peek at his low hangers. Both Fonda and Leigh have nude scenes, so it’s only fair that we get a gander at Webber too. Sam threatens to tell Allie about what happened and Hedy snaps (didn’t take much) and stabs him in the eye with her stiletto heel. Death by footwear.

      Claire’s husband, Michael (Matt McCoy) fares better. He doesn’t succumb to Peyton’s “charms”, even after she flaunts them in a wet see-through nightgown. And he makes it out of the movie alive despite getting clocked with a baseball bat. But ultimately his character is a bland afterthought. If he had gotten naked, maybe he’d be more interesting.

      The best friend always knows

      Unlike the female leads, the best friends actually have a clue. Marlene (Julianne Moore) knows something isn’t right with Peyton. She warns Claire, “the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world”. It’s like she wrote the movie. Marlene investigates the nanny and discovers that Peyton is Dr. Mott’s widow. This leads to a typical trope in thrillers: the best friend has to die because they know too much. In this case, Marlene gets a greenhouse dropped on her head. Meanwhile, Allie’s best friend and neighbor Graham (Peter Friedman) has Hedy’s number from the moment she moves into the building. Hedy comes after Graham, knocking him out. Luckily, he survives and will be able to give Allie a big “I told you so”.

      Problematic plot

      One aspect of THTRTC that doesn’t age well and also proves to be very problematic is the character of Solomon (Ernie Hudson). Claire and Michael hire the mentally challenged handyman to build a white picket fence around their yard. He’s a large black man with the mental capability of a child. So, he’s imposing, yet harmless, and altogether awkward. He’s bright enough to be wary of Peyton though. When he catches her breastfeeding Joe, she plots to get rid of him before he can out her. She tells Claire that Solomon has been inappropriate with Emma. Claire doesn’t believe it, but the seed of doubt is planted. Later, Peyton makes sure she finds a pair of Emma’s underwear in Solomon’s work cart. Claire leaps to the conclusion that he has molested her daughter and fires him. Peyton is basically a 90s “Karen”, a white woman falsely accusing a black man of a crime and ruining his life. Another problem with this story is that Michael and Claire never ask Emma what happened. They just assume it’s true. You’d think they’d take her to therapy to deal with this supposed traumatic event, but they just move on with their lives. That’s some shitty parenting and a big plot hole.

      Comeuppance

      The bad guy always has to go down in the end. We’ve watched these horrible people torture the protagonists for 90% of the film and we want some payoff. This is also when Allie and Claire grow a brain and a backbone. Allie manages to best Hedy in a tense cat and mouse game in their building’s basement then kills her with a screwdriver. It’s appropriate that she gets stabbed in the back. In Cradle, Claire finally figures everything out and confronts her tormentor. Cut to her punching Peyton across a dining room table. I remember when I saw this in a packed theater, back in 1992, and the audience erupted in applause. We were all tired of that bitch. Later, Claire gets the upper hand on Peyton and shoves her out a window. The psycho nanny lands on the white picket fence that Solomon built. Now that’s payback.

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      Posted in Movies | 0 Comments | Tagged 90s, Double Feature, Movies
    • Clueless…25th Anniversary

      Posted at 11:01 pm by Geoff, on July 17, 2020

      The other night I was watching Clueless and realized that I still remember so many of the lines. That’s a testament to the great movie that writer/director Amy Heckerling created. It holds up all these years later and stands out as one of the best comedies of the 90s. For its anniversary lets count down Clueless’ best quotes.

      25. “Whatever!” – Amber

      Short and to the point. You need to make the W hand gesture, like Amber (Elisa Donovan), to really sell it.

      24. “Wasn’t my mom a total Betty? She died when I was a young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.” – Cher

      RIP, Cher’s mom.

      23. “I believe that was your designer impostor perfume” – Cher

      Is designer impostor perfume still a thing? It should be.

      22. “No shit, you guys got coke here?” – Tai

      Coca-Cola, honey.

      21. “Yo, you’re getting on the freeway!” – Murray

      When I lived in LA, the freeway scared the hell out of me too.

      20. “He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?” – Cher

      It’s a valid question.

      19. “Cher’s saving herself for Luke Perry.” – Dionne

      Weren’t we all?

      18. “I am totally, butt crazy in love with Josh.” – Cher

      That’s the greatest love of all.

      17. “You see how picky I am about my shoes and those only go on my feet.” – Cher

      Cher (Alicia Silverstone) knew her worth.

      16. “Do you prefer the term fashion victim or ensemble-y challenged?” – Cher

      Ironically, when Amber gets slammed here, her outfit looks cute.

      15. “Girlie, as far as you’re concerned, I’m the messiah of the DMV.” – Instructor

      That driving instructor was drunk with power.

      14. “Would you call me selfish?” “No, not to your face.” – Cher & Dionne

      Dionne (Stacey Dash) was a true friend.

      13. “I do not wear polyester hair, ok. Unlike some people I know, like Shawana.” – Dionne

      We never did get to meet Shawana and her bad hair extensions.

      12. “May I please remind you that it does not say RSVP on Statue of Liberty.” – Cher

      This entire speech is amazing. Worthy of a least a B+.

       11. “It’s a dress.” “Says who?” “Calvin Klein.” – Cher & Mel

      That was a cute CK dress. The jacket gave it an extra, transparent, layer.

      10. “Dionne and I were both named after great singers from the past who now do infomercials.” – Cher

      The early 90s were a rough time for Cher and Dionne Warwick…and their psychic friends.

      9. “So ok, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” – Cher

      This monologue describes 90% of the guys I went to high school with. Wash your hair and pull up your pants, dude.

      8. “Rollin’ with the homies.” – Tai

      Coolio was a wordsmith.

      7. “Oh, no, you don’t understand. This is an Alaia.” “An Awhatta?” “It’s like a totally important designer.” “And I will totally shoot you in the head.” – Cher & the Mugger

      I had never heard of Alaia until I saw this movie.  It was educational.

      6. “He’s a disco dancing, Oscar Wilde reading, Streisand ticket holding friend of Dorothy.” – Murray

      I can relate.

      5. “She’s a full-on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away it’s ok, but up close, it’s a big old mess.” – Cher

      The nastiest read in the movie. Very descriptive.

      4. “My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.” “There goes your social life.” – Amber & Dionne

      Dionne served Amber with some wicked shade.

      3. “You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” – Tai

      Tai’s (Brittany Murphy) delivery and facial expression always kill me. She’s a savage.

      2. “The was way harsh, Tai.” – Cher

      The only appropriate response when someone calls out your hymenly-challenged-driver’s-license-less existence.

      1. “As if!” – Cher

      As if anything else could take the top spot. It’s the best line in the movie. Iconic as F.

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      Posted in Movies | 1 Comment | Tagged 90s, Anniversary, Movies
    • St. Elmo’s Fire…35th Anniversary

      Posted at 8:43 pm by Geoff, on July 9, 2020

      In 1985, Columbia Pictures released Joel Schumacher’s coming-of-age-in-your-20’s drama, St. Emo’s Fire. The movie focuses on seven friends who have recently graduated from Georgetown University in D.C. The gang includes philandering Alec (Judd Nelson), his steadfast girlfriend Leslie (Ally Sheedy), moody Kevin (Andrew McCarthy), wild Jules (Demi Moore), reckless Billy (Rob Lowe), loyal to a fault Wendy (Mare Winningham), and infatuated Kirby (Emilio Estevez). Their post-grad year is filled with strife, heartbreak, laughter, and reluctant steps toward adulthood. The critics roasted the film, summing it up as a bunch of yuppies whining about having to face the real world. One writer even gave the actors the unflattering nickname, The Brat Pack. But the audience loved the movie, making it an 80s favorite. Let’s revisit St. Elmo’s Fire.

      Alec/Leslie/Kevin

      After college, Alec begins to pressure Leslie about marriage. When she puts him off, his next natural step is to begin cheating on her. Oh, ok. Kevin is also in love with Leslie, but since he can’t be with her, he stops having sex altogether. Hence, his moodiness. When the truth comes out about Alec’s cheating, Leslie flees to Kevin’s place. He confesses his love for her and they sex it up all over his apartment. Leslie keeps her pearl necklace on the entire time. That’s extremely yuppie. Alec unexpectedly comes over to see Kevin and Leslie smacks him in the face with the news that she slept with his best friend. Drama. After this all goes down, Kevin assumes he and Leslie will be a couple now, but she puts the brakes on that. It’s interesting because we get both guys’ points of view about what they want, but very little from Leslie. It’s not until the end of the movie when she tells Alec and Kevin that she’s not going to be with either one of them and is instead choosing herself, that we finally hear her side. It would have been nice to see more of this. Sidenote, since Kevin stopped sleeping with women, everyone thinks he’s gay. Jules even theorizes that he’s in love with Alec. That would have been a much more interesting storyline. Later, after they both realized Alec was an asshole, Kevin and Leslie could have become a 1985 Will & Grace.

      Jules

      Jules was wild in college, but after graduation she takes it to a new level. For one, she can’t manage her money. Who knew getting an advance on your salary was a thing? She maxes out her credit cards, buying clothes and garish home décor. There’s a terrifying giant ceramic clown head in one scene. Then she has the brilliant idea to start sleeping with her boss, which ultimately leads to losing her job. This is followed by a cocaine spiral. In a misguided suicide attempt, she locks herself in her apartment and opens all the windows, letting in the freezing cold air. The stupidity of this proves she’s really just crying out for help and not trying to end it all. Billy is able to comfort her back into reality. She tells him that she’s so tired. Yes, dear, adulting is hard. Now close your windows, find a new job, and get on with your life. Also, throw away that scary ass clown head.

      Kirby

      This is the nuttiest story in the movie. Basically, Kirby went out on a date with Dale (Andie MacDowell) back in college. One date that led to nothing. Four years later, he runs into Dale. She barely remembers him, but Kirby is still hooked on her. This fixation escalates. He follows her to a party, where he creepily watches from the window. Then he crashes the scene and tells her he’s obsessed. No shit. Instead of calling the cops, Dale invites him over to her place. Girl, really? She tries to dissuade him from his infatuation. Instead, Kirby has tantrum, because things aren’t going his way and storms out. Later, he throws a big party to impress Dale, but she doesn’t show up. Incensed, he tracks her down at a cabin in the snowy mountains that she’s sharing with her boyfriend and throws another fit. Again, instead of calling the authorities on this psycho, she invites him in after his car gets stuck in the snow. The next day, when Dale is politely seeing Kirby off, he kisses her. Instead of telling her boyfriend to kick his ass, she actually swoons. WTF? Kirby speeds off, thrusting his fist in the air triumphantly. I truly cannot figure out what we’re supposed to think about this story. Stalking is romantic? If you pressure a woman enough into liking you, she’ll eventually cave? This behavior isn’t acceptable and yet everyone in the movie goes along with it. Not me!

      Billy & Wendy

      Out of everyone in the group, Billy has the hardest time letting go of college and stepping into the real world. It’s funny because he has the most adult attachments. A wife and baby. Instead of trying to gain some stability for them, he remains selfish and irresponsible. He loses jobs as soon as he finds them and gets drunk every night. He’d rather run around with his friends than grow up. It’s a sad Peter Pan situation. Wendy, unfortunately, enables Billy’s behavior. She’s in love with him and can’t call him out on his ridiculous behavior. Even after he gets drunk and totals her car, nearly killing her, Wendy forgives him. I found that plot point to be really stupid. But not as bad as Wendy offering her virginity to him. Sigh. So, Billy realizes he needs to get his shit together. He’s going to divorce his wife so she can be with a guy who actually wants to be a husband. And, Billy is moving to NY. If you can make it there…well he probably won’t. As a going away gift, Wendy gives him her V-card. Now, I know Billy is incredibly good looking (this is prime Rob Lowe hotness here), but he’s still a tool. He doesn’t deserve your “flower”, Wendy.

      **BONUS**

      The theme song to the movie, “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)” is pretty awesome. It incorporates the themes of the movie (growing up, finding your future) in one jazzy-pop-rock moment. Plus, the video, starring singer John Parr and his enormous fluffy hair, is perfectly 80s.

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      Posted in Movies | 0 Comments | Tagged 80s, Anniversary, Movies
    • Can’t Stop the Music…40th Anniversary

      Posted at 10:04 pm by Geoff, on June 18, 2020

      Forty years ago, someone thought it would be a great idea to make a pseudo-biopic-musical about the Village People called Can’t Stop the Music.That someone was Allan Carr. At the time, he was on top of his game after producing Grease two years earlier. Given that blockbuster success, it’s not surprising that Carr was able to get any film he wanted green-lit. Similarly, the Village People were a very popular disco act. The kitschy group, consisting of the Cop (Ray Simpson), Cowboy (Randy Jones), Native American (Felipe Rose), G.I. (Alex Briley), Construction Worker (David Hodo), and Leatherman (Glenn M. Hughes), had sold tons of albums worldwide. The movie could have been a hit in theory, but it crashed and burned. The box office was horrible, critics ripped it apart, and it won the first annual Razzie Award for Worst Picture. That’s the triple crown of sucking. Over the years, CSTM has bounced back somewhat and become a cult classic, mainly because it’s so delightfully absurd. Here are ten ridiculous things about the film.

      10. The writing

      The plot is very thin. Musician Jack (Steve Guttenberg) enlists his roommate Samantha (Valerie Perrine), a former supermodel, to help him get a record deal. He can’t sing, so a group is needed to perform the music. They assemble a motley crew and brand them as the Village People. Now they just need to get Samantha’s ex-boyfriend Steve (Paul Sands), president of Marrakech Records, to sign the group. There’s also a silly subplot about Samantha falling for uptight lawyer Ron (Caitlyn Jenner). The movie needed a bit of romance I suppose. Bronte Woodard wrote the screenplay and you have to wonder how high he was while doing so. The story is just a bunch of nonsensical moments and wacky hijinks thrown together. There’s also the wooden dialogue with lines like, “The 70s are dead and gone. The 80s are going to be something wonderfully new and different, and so am I”. Yikes.

      9. Nancy Walker

      On one hand, it’s fantastic that actress Nancy Walker was hired on as the director. She became the first woman to helm a multi-million-dollar movie. On the other hand, this is what she made. CSTM marked her first and last feature film. There’s also the fact that before this she was best known for starring as the “quicker picker upper” lady in Bounty commercials. No amount of paper towels could clean up this mess of a film though.

      8. Samantha

      A lot of CSTM revolves around Samantha, which is a bad choice. Perrine isn’t a bad actress, but she can only do so much with such an empty character. She mainly bounces from scene to scene being bubbly. Carr originally wanted Olivia Newton-John for the role. She turned him down and signed on to be in Xanadu instead, which is the equivalent of dodging a bullet only to get hit by a bus.

      7. Audition

      At one point, Jack and Samantha hold auditions for new group members. There are some random acts, like a clown on stilts and a stripper. Then the Leatherman struts in and sings a stirring rendition of “Oh Danny Boy” while standing on a piano. Perhaps they were trying to add some gravitas to the film?

      6. I Love You to Death

      I-I-I-I love this song to death. It’s dumb and repetitive, yet fun. The Construction Worker sings it ferociously, in a fantasy sequence, as female dancers in tight red dresses slink around him. I think it’s supposed to be sexy, but it fails on that front. Once a dancer bites his bicep, it’s impossible to take this seriously. Not to mention all the glitter that rains down on them.

      5. Guttenberg’s gusto

      Guttenberg is dialed up to a 23, on a 1 to 10 scale, every moment he’s on screen. The best is the opening where he enthusiastically roller skates through the streets of NYC as “The Sound of the City” plays on the soundtrack. He’s just so damn jazzed up about…everything. 

      4. Do the shake

      In order to finance the Village People, Samantha comes out of supermodel retirement to do a TV commercial for milk that also features the group. The beginning of the ad has little boys dressed up as the VP characters. They drink their milk and grow up to be strong macho men. Then they do an intricately choreographed Busby Berkley-type number to “Milkshake”. It’s nuts. Also, a DJ should put together a mashup of the song and Kelis’ “Milkshake”. A shakeoff.

      3. Lulu

      Lulu (Marilyn Sokol) is Samantha’s sidekick. She’s also an incredibly horny woman. Sex jokes and double entendres fly out of her mouth at a rapid pace. Sokol comes off as plain goofy, though, as she vamps and gyrates for the camera. You feel so embarrassed for her, yet you’re unable to turn away. 

      2. YMCA

      The Village People, Samantha, Jack, and Ron take a trip down to the local Y and find themselves caught in the middle of a cluster of hot muscular guys. A gay fever dream ensues. There’s locker room lip syncing, synchronized diving, slow-motion wrestling, and some very 80s special effects. Side note, CSTM is the only PG movie to feature full-frontal male nudity with a flash of peen in the shower scene. Someone at the ratings board must have been asleep at the wheel. There’s also a boob shot with Perrine. Something for the straight guys in the audience. All zero of them.

      1. The fact it exists at all

      But, really, how did this movie get made? In the summer of 1979, when production started up, disco was dying due to oversaturation and the “disco sucks” movement. Building a movie around a fading music genre/scene probably wasn’t the best idea. Someone should have stepped in and pulled the plug before it even began. Of course, then we wouldn’t have this craziness to “enjoy”. Maybe you shouldn’t try to stop the music afterall.

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    • How to Build a Girl…Review

      Posted at 8:15 am by Geoff, on May 20, 2020

      How to Build a Girl is a quirky endearing coming of age movie. Set in mid-90s England, it concentrates on sixteen-year-old outcast Johanna Morrigan (Beanie Feldstein), who is continually bullied at school. While her family is supportive, they are pretty unstable. Plus, the only “people” she can talk to are the pictures of famous figures on her wall that come to life in her fantasies. She’s desperately yearning for something to happen in her life and take her out of this mess. That something arrives in the form of a job at an indie rock magazine.

      At first the douchey all-male staff dismisses Johanna, but she manages to win them over with her genuine writing talent. She takes it a step further by reinventing herself as Dolly Wilde, a brash, biting music critic. Armed with a new persona and look (shocking red hair and even louder outfits), Johanna’s star quickly rises. But she soon realizes that she doesn’t necessarily like the girl she has become.

      The movie is adapted from Caitlin Moran’s memoir and her life makes for an unusual yet enjoyable story. You root for Johanna to succeed and cringe when she falls on her face. Feldstein is extremely charming in the role. She brings both heart and the humor to her character. I also thought it was great that director Coky Giedroyc wasn’t afraid to show Johanna as a sexual person. She hops from man to man, like a sexual anthropologist. Usually with plus-sized women in movies, their sexuality is downplayed or ignored. Giedroyc puts it all out there in a frank manner.

      I liked the overall message of the film: being comfortable in your skin and owning who you are despite what others think. Johanna sees that she has built herself up into someone she doesn’t recognize, so she breaks it all down and rebuilds. She ultimately becomes the person she is most proud of. It’s something anyone can identify with, in your teen years and beyond.

      *Side Note*

      It wasn’t until a few days after seeing Girl that I realized how much it reminded me of the 1994 comedy Muriel’s Wedding. They each feature outrageous young women that don’t fit in with the popular crowd and decide to make themselves over into someone new. Both protagonists have oddball families. Plus, music (ABBA, indie rock) is featured heavily. Feldstein’s Johanna also has a similar affable energy as Toni Collette’s Muriel. The two films would make a great double feature. Maybe at a drive-in.

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      Posted in Movies | 0 Comments | Tagged 90s, Movies, Music, Reviews
    • Fame…40th Anniversary

      Posted at 11:38 pm by Geoff, on May 12, 2020

      “Fame, I’m gonna live forever!” Or for at least 40 years. Back in the 80s, Fame gave a fresh take on the big screen musical and instantly left a mark on pop culture. The movie follows eight students (musicians, actors, dancers) at New York’s High School of Performing Arts. Working from a script written by Christopher Gore, director Alan Parker captures all the highs and lows over a four-year period. Let’s remember, remember, remember, remember (yeah, I did it) Fame.

      Auditions

      During the audition process we meet the fresh hopefuls looking to secure a spot at the prestigious PA school. Coco (Irene Cara) is a confident triple threat. Bruno (Lee Curreri) is the innovative musician. Lisa (Laura Dean) lacks confidence and direction, but still manages to get into the dance department. Shy Doris (Maureen Teefy) gets pushed into auditioning by her overbearing stage mother. She’s joined in the drama dept. by closeted Montgomery (Paul McCrane) and class clown Ralph (Barry Miller). Rounding out the group is Leroy (Gene Anthony Ray), who quickly impresses with his dancing. Parker cuts between the main characters and a bunch of other wannabes, establishing the culture of the school. Everyone is striving for something.

      Freshman Year

      The kids arrive for freshman year (with the thoughtful “Dogs in the Yard” playing over a montage) where they discover that PA is not an easy school. It’s especially difficult for Leroy since he’s illiterate. I could have done without the stereotypical “inner city youth who can’t read and the hard-nosed teacher (Ann Meara) who pushes him to learn” storyline. But it was 1980, so what do you expect? Doris and Montgomery become fast friends as the awkward outsiders. She worries she’s not colorful enough for this school. Whereas he is trying to blend into the background.

      The big rousing number in this year is “Hot Lunch Jam”. The students dance on tables, bang on the piano, and sing about macaroni and baloney. It’s a fun song.

      Sophomore Year

      Hilary (Antonia Franceschi) arrives on the scene in the dance department and promptly pisses off Coco by going after her boyfriend, Leroy. Lisa is kicked out of the department by her harsh teacher. We think she’s going to jump in front of a subway train, but she just dumps her dance gear on the tracks instead. I’m glad Gore spared the audience from the usual teen suicide story. It would have been too afterschool special. Meanwhile, Montgomery comes out to his drama class. A safe space for a gay guy if there ever was one.

      Bruno is reluctant to share his music with others, so his enthusiastic dad, a taxi driver, steals his tape and blasts it from his cab outside of the school. In the most over the top musical moment in the film, students rush out of their classes and start dancing in the street, or on top of cars, as “Fame” plays. Off-screen the song was huge, going to number #4 on the Billboard Hot 100 and winning the Oscar for Best Original Song.

      Junior Year

      Doris comes out of her shell and rebels against her bossy mother. She also falls for Ralph, leaving Montgomery out in the cold. He expresses his loneliness with “Is it Okay if I Call You Mine”, a very pretty sad ballad.

      My favorite song on the soundtrack, “Out Here on My Own”, is featured in this year. Coco’s vocals and the beautiful piano accompanying her are perfect. The track became the film’s second hit single and garnered an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song. It was the first time two songs from the same movie were nominated.

      Senior Year

      Ralph’s stand-up comedy career takes off, but his need to party like a Belushi after his shows hurts his personal life. Luckily, he comes down to earth before something tragic happens. Meanwhile, Hilary gets pregnant and decides to have an abortion. She won’t let a baby get in the way of her ballet career. On a better note, Leroy is offered a spot in Alvin Ailey’s dance company.

      In the worst moment in the movie, a sleazy producer manipulates Coco into taking off her top for a “screen test”. She’s sobbing as the camera rolls. But there’s no follow up since we don’t see her again until the end of the film. I would have liked to see more of her POV. Without that, the scene feels exploitative. Maybe that was the point, to show how terribly young women trying to break into the industry are treated. Still, it could have been handled better by Parker and Gore. That’s actually a recurring problem I have with the film. They’re constantly bouncing around from character to character. I wish there was more of a plot and time to flesh out these stories.

      The finale comes with the graduation ceremony and a performance of “I Sing the Body Electric”. Lisa, Coco, and Montgomery have solos, Leroy dances; and Bruno plays the piano, finally sharing his music with the world. The lyrics talk about looking forward to the you yet to come and knowing you’ll shine brightly then. It’s appropriate for these kids with their dreams of success, yearning to shed their old skin and be reborn as stars. I also like the arrangement with the full orchestra, rock band, and choir. The song does get schmaltzy, but it’s still works for me. It’s a touching end to the movie and a great sendoff for these characters headed towards their next chapter.

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    • Friday the 13th…40th Anniversary

      Posted at 7:56 am by Geoff, on May 8, 2020

      On Friday, May 9, 1980, Paramount Pictures released Sean Cunningham’s Friday the 13th. The low budget horror film about a serial killer picking off camp counselors was a surprise hit that year. It proved that a simple premise with genuine scares can go a long way. A thousand sequels followed, but none of them matched the original. Here are the five scariest moments from the movie.

      5. Don’t Have Sex

      The film opens at Camp Crystal Lake in the 1950s. An amorous young couple sneaks off to a storage room to get busy. They don’t count on a killer joining them. Not the kind of threesome you want. They’re cornered and quickly murdered. This is a prime example of why you shouldn’t have sex of any kind in a horror movie. But, if you do, have an escape route.

      4. In the bathroom

      Here’s one reason I’m not into camping: the bathroom situation. I have zero interest in walking through the woods to get to a toilet or a shower. Especially when a psycho could we hanging out in there. Marcie (Jeannie Taylor) thinks her friends are playing a trick on her, waiting to pop out from one of the shower stalls. The tension builds as we watch her pull back every curtain. But then, surprise, the killer is actually behind her and Marcie gets an ax to the face. 

      3. Afterglow

      While Jack (Kevin Bacon) and Marcie were having sex (don’t do it!), a dead body was above them, on the top bunk, and the killer was underneath their bed. That’s a sinister sandwich. After Marcie exits, the killer drives an arrow through Jack’s throat from below. It’s disgustingly bloody. On a side note, back in the day I worked for Laura Kightlinger’s agent and got to know the actress/writer a little. Great woman. Laura worked on Will & Grace. Kevin Bacon guest starred on W&G. So that makes me two degrees away from Kevin Bacon. Kinda.

      2. Kill her, Mommy, kill her

      If you’ve seen Friday the 13th or the first Scream, you know that Mrs. Voorhies (Betsy Palmer) is the killer, out to avenge her son’s death. She seems like a sweet middle-aged mom when she pops up towards the end of the movie. But she quickly shows her crazy ways and it’s quite frightening, especially when she speaks in Jason’s voice. Mommy has gone around the bend. She chases Alice (Adrienne King) through the camp in a series of near misses. Alice manages to get the upper hand and chops her head off. In slow-motion.

      1. Beneath the surface

      After Alice has wacked Mrs. V., she decides to climb into a canoe and take a nap. Sure. She wakes up the next morning in the middle of the lake. Tranquil piano music plays as she looks at her reflection in the peaceful water. Then a deformed zombie-like Jason suddenly surfaces, dragging her into the lake. It’s one of the best last scares in a horror movie. If that doesn’t scare the bejezus out of you, you’re already lacking in bejezus.

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