NostalGeoff

Things got whacky this week at camp. Revelations, confessions, and sexual situations. And, of course, stabbings.

Papa was a serial killer

We get a Donna flashback at the top of the show. Back in 1980, she discovered that her father was a psychotic killer who butchered women. There’s too much disembowelment on this show. She begged him to stop. but he killed himself instead. This led her to studying serial killers. Daddy issues. Back in the present, freshly reborn Richard explains to Donna that Satan brought him back to life. I was right! Again! He also tells her that she has the same darkness inside that her father possessed. A vision of her father pops up to confirm this. Donna refuses to believe it. Fight the evil, girl.

Ghost Sex

Xavier is still losing his shit about not escaping Redwood, so Margaret knocks him out. The group takes him back to a cabin to hide out. Margaret claims she saw a couple of campers across the lake. She convinces Chet take a canoe ride over there with her and look for help. Of course, it’s a lie. She beats the crap out of him, cuts off his ear, and tosses him overboard. That crazy bitch. Meanwhile, Brooke spots Ray wandering around outside. What? Didn’t he get his head chopped off last week? She runs outside and catches up with him. He’s disoriented and doesn’t remember what happened to him. They hear Jingles coming and seek shelter in the dining hall. After having a nice heart-to-heart talk Brooke and Ray decide to hookup since they probably won’t make it through the night. Solid reasoning. Later, Brooke reveals that Ray was her first. Then the no-longer-virginal-maybe-final girl finds Ray’s severed head in the dining hall fridge. Oh, that’s where that went. She freaks out and runs off. Eh, I would have taken my chances with the ghost who just popped my cherry rather than go outside.

I’ll never be on the cover of TV Guide!

Donna runs into the cabin, finding Montana and Xavier. She confesses that she helped Jingles escape. Xavier blames her for his oven-roasted face and tries to kill her. She runs, he follows. While hiding, Donna encounters Jingles who tells her that Margaret is the real killer. He never took any lives, outside of his Vietnam War days, until tonight. Donna feels guilty and wants Jingles to kill her, but he denies her request. He only wants to take out Margaret. He finds her at the archery area and nearly succeeds. Too bad Xavier decides to play hero and shoot Jingles full of arrows, killing him. Margaret thanks Xavier by gutting hm. After she leaves, Ramirez appears. Jingles comes back to life and the Night Stalker asks him if he’s ready to accept Satan as his savior. I’m thinking he’ll say yes to the Devil.

Sunrise

Montana tells Brooke that her psycho fiancée was her brother. And then she tries to strangle her. Brooke can’t catch a break. Running and catfighting ensue. Brooke manages to get the best of Montana and stabs the hell out of her, just as the bus with the little campers pulls up. Oh, hey, kids. Cut to the cops and EMTs showing up at camp. Brooke is hauled off in handcuffs. Margaret pops up, after stabbing herself, and claims that Brooke attacked everyone. I’m so sick of her. An EMT attempts to help Ray. He’s put in an ambulance and taken away. But then we see him back at camp. He can’t leave. The ghost hiker shows up and tells Ray this is home now. At the same time, ghost Montana pops up and shoots one of the cops. She has no qualms about killing people now that she’s dead. Oh, and it seems Camp Redwood is purgatory and they’re all stuck here. Fun. Meanwhile, Richard and Jingles have stolen a cop car and are able to ride out of camp. Like a batshit crazy murderous Thelma and Louise. I wonder how they’re able to leave Redwood.