NostalGeoff

Writing about the past in the present…
NostalGeoff
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    • AHS 1984 Recap…Final Girls

      Posted at 8:17 am by Geoff, on November 14, 2019

      It’s time for the finale. Oddly, this season has felt both long and short. Ryan Murphy has that effect. I’ve enjoyed 1984, though. There were some rough spots, but it held my attention. Plus, it had a great 80s soundtrack. Always a plus. Let’s see how this ends.

      Bobby

      Were’ in 2019 with AHS veteran Finn Wittrock. He has ventured into Redwood. Voluntarily. The camp grounds are overgrown and the stages from the 1989 music festival are still up. Montana arrives on the scene. She’s surprised to see anyone since they haven’t had visitors in years. Finn reveals that he’s Jingles’ son, Bobby, and he’s looking for his dad. Didn’t see that coming. His aunt informed him that Jingles came to Redwood to avenge his mother’s death and was never heard from again. But Bobby has been receiving anonymous checks ever since. He thinks it’s his dad. Trevor pops up and he and Montana graphically show Bobby that they’re ghosts. After he finishes freaking out, the two tell him that Jingles is dead too, but they haven’t seen him since 1989.

      Ghost community

      In a flashback, were at the music festival. None of the talent has shown up. No Debbie Gibson or Belinda Carlisle. Oh, that would have been a good lineup. Courtney confesses to Margaret that he told Trevor about the Kojagoogoo massacre causing him to send the concertgoers away. She reacts by shooting Courtney in the head. It really doesn’t pay to be her assistant. Margaret confronts Trevor at the camp entrance. He threatens to tell the cops about all of her evil deeds. In response, she shoots him in the crotch. Oh no, not the dick! She does this just outside of camp so he can’t come back to life. Margaret takes off as Montana shows up. She begs Trevor to crawl into camp, but he can’t make it. Luckily, Brooke happens upon them and helps Trevor get into camp. He dies and is quickly resurrected. Montana is moved by Brooke’s selfless act. She decides to be a better person. She and the other ghost folk bond together as a community. We see Trevor and a counselor trick, stab, and kick Bruce over the camp line so he won’t come back. Then all the ghosts kill Ramirez. It’s disgustingly bloody. Or bloody disgusting. In order to prevent him from being saved by Satan and leaving camp, they’ve been killing him consistently for 30 years. That’s dedication. Back in 2019, Montana and Trevor wrap up their story and order Bobby to go. Ramirez will kill him if he finds him there. Of course, Ramirez has come back to life just then and managed to avoid being slaughtered by that night’s ghost watchers. He nearly succeeds in killing Bobby, but the ghosts save the day. Montana tells Bobby to go to the asylum and look for the medical director. They’ll have answers for him.

      Final Girls

      At the asylum, Bobby meets the director: Donna. Yay, a black person survived! She tells Bobby that his father was innocent and Margaret was the real killer. And we’re back to 89. Donna comes after Margaret, but isn’t able to kill the bitch. Then Brooke tries to take her out, but Margaret manages to shoot her. Before she can get away again the ghost gang grabs her. In a funny, yet gory scene, Margaret is chopped up, thrown in a woodchipper, and expelled over camp lines. She had it coming. Back in 2019, Bobby remarks that Donna is the final girl. He also thinks she’s the one who has been sending him those checks over the years. But she denies it. Someone else made it out of camp. They trace the checks back to a savings & loan in Oregon. Bobby’s benefactor is actually Brooke. Eh, that was anti-climatic. Turns out she didn’t die at Redwood after all. Ray found her and got her across camp lines. Someone called an ambulance and Brooke was rescued. She wanted to move on from Redwood and start a new life, so she didn’t tell Donna she was alive. She hoped Bobby could live beyond the shadow of Redwood, thus all the checks. Did anyone else think there was more to this story? Like it was actually Satan who saved Brooke? Just me? Anyways, Brooke and Donna are both final girls. That happens sometimes…the latest Halloween. Later, Bobby tells Donna that he’s going to Redwood to find his dad. Real smart.

      Final showdown

      Bobby encounters Margaret on his trip back to camp. Why is she there?! Turns out she died in the woodchipper a second before her bits were launched over the camp line. She’s been hiding out from the others ever since. She promises to take Bobby to Jingles. Lies. Instead she tries to kill him. Jingles appears and kills her instead, saving Bobby. Father and son have a touching reunion. Aww. But then resurrected Margaret kills Jingles. Damn! Bobby takes off. Thankfully, Jingles’ mom pops up, kills Margaret, and has a nice moment with her grandson. The other ghosts arrive to deal with Margaret. I’m guessing she’ll get the Ramirez treatment. Montana tells Bobby to go, but to remember them and tell their ghost stories. The 80s will never die. Ok, girl. At the entrance to Redwood, Jingles, his mom, and his brother wave goodbye to Bobby as Mike + the Mechanics’ “The Living Years” plays. This had to be the sweetest ending to an AHS season ever. I was surprisingly moved.

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      Posted in TV | 2 Comments | Tagged 80s, Recap, TV
    • BH90210 Canceled…Ugh #BH90210

      Posted at 10:37 pm by Geoff, on November 10, 2019

      The other day I heard the disappointing news that BH90210 got canceled. I knew it was a long shot, but I was still holding out hope for a renewal. It was such a fun, enjoyable, nostalgic show that could have gone one for many seasons. I’ve read so many comments about how this should have been a true reboot, picking up where the original series left off. As if that would have ensured its survival. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I wholeheartedly disagree. By the time Beverly Hills 90210 went off the air in 2000, it had run through every possible storyline, character type, and 90s fashion trend. Truthfully, it should have ended around season 7 or 8. So, there was nothing else to add in 2019. However, the idea of a meta-dramedy about the actors making a reboot of their iconic show felt smart and fresh. You could go anywhere with that. They poked fun of themselves and the show in a clever loving way, creating a new world for the fans who adored the old one. It was truly inspired and I’m sad it’s over. But you shouldn’t cry because the party ended. Be happy you were invited at all. In the end, I feel lucky that I got to experience this unique, heartfelt not-so-reboot-reboot of my favorite show.

      ***In the event that another network or streaming service picks up BH90210, this will make a great story for season 2.

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      Posted in TV | 0 Comments | Tagged 90s, TV
    • AHS 1984 Recap…Rest in Pieces

      Posted at 8:15 am by Geoff, on November 7, 2019

      We’ve reached the penultimate episode. This one felt scattered and too many pointless characters stole the focus. Hopefully, Ryan Murphy & Co. can wrap it up in a satisfying way next week.

      Nosey reporter

      We begin at a diner near camp. Brooke dreams of the future, post-killing Margaret. She may go to Australia like Crocodile Dundee. Goals. Donna tells her she’ll need all her strength if she’s going to be the Final Girl, the last woman standing, who defeats the killer, in scary movies. Brooke thinks they can both be final girls, but Donna explains that black people don’t usually survive horror movies. I hope she’s wrong this time. Their breakfast is interrupted by Stacey, a National Inquirer reporter. She’s on her way up to Redwood because she’s writing a book about Jingles & Brooke. She’s also very annoying. Brooke pretends she’s just a “Brooke-lookalike”, but Stacey isn’t fooled. Later on, she shows up at their motel room. She’s been doing research on Broke and Donna for her book. In order to keep her quiet, the twosome agree to give her material about their time at camp. She just needs to sneak them into Redwood. Donna thinks Stacey will expose them, but Brooke has a plan to kill her. Right when she’s about to cut her throat, though, Donna stops her. She reminds her fellow-maybe-final girl that she’s not evil like Margaret.

      Mary Kay

      Lucky for Bruce, a Mary Kay lady, driving a very pink car, found him on the highway and saved his life. But it was unlucky for her since he stole her car and killed her. She’ll never make her sales quota now. Bruce arrives at camp just in time to run down ghost Jingles, who was in the middle of a catfight (they rolled down a hill Alexis & Krystal-style) with Ramirez. Jingles ghost disappears leaving Bruce with his serial killer idol. He fans out and offers to help Ramirez find his nemesis. Meanwhile, Jingles comes back to life and encounters the hitchhiker guy from episode 1. Hitchhiker explains how he’s died more times than he can count and he loses a piece of himself each time. Jingles vows that won’t happen to him.

      In memoriam

      Montana and Trevor are basking in the afterglow, post-ghost-human sex. Is this Grey’s Anatomy? Trevor wants to stay at camp with her and declares his love. Seriously? As they leave the cabin, still canoodling, Margaret spots them. She’s not having the best morning since Courtney told her about the Kojagoogoo massacre. Poor Court had to dispose of the bodies. Good news: their ghosts are still around. “Too Shy” will never die. Elsewhere, Xavier takes Ramirez and Bruce to where Jingles body is buried. They figure his ghost will show up there. They’re right. Jingles appears and stabs Xavier to death. Before he can do the same to Ramirez, Margaret pops up and shoots him. That bitch. Later on, Margaret, Ramirez, and Bruce run into Stacey. She got away from Brooke, only to be murdered by this psycho trio. Margaret wants them to kill everyone else who’s coming up for the festival. Then she can turn Redwood into an 80s memoriam mecca and make money off the tourists. Again, that bitch!

      Family reunion

      Jingles comes back to life to again. This time he’s strung up by the vengeful counselors. He pleads with them to let him go so he can kill Ramirez. He has to save his son. He even throws it out there that Montana brought Ramirez to Redwood and really lit the serial killer spark in him. So, this mess is partly her fault. Montana surprisingly feels bad about this. She heads off into the woods where Trevor finds her. He’s decided to kill himself in order to stay at camp with her forever. Oh Trevor. Montana, still upset about Ramirez, rejects him. At the lake, Xavier and the other ghosts are killing Jingles slowly, preventing him from getting to Ramirez. It’s a real dick move. They toss him into a boat and set it off. Suddenly, Jingles’ brother, Bobby, pops up from the beneath the water and drags him into the lake. It’s just like the last scene in the original Friday the 13th. Totally saw that coming. But I still jumped. Jingles comes back to life. Again. His mother and Bobby are having a picnic by the lake. He feels defeated for not being able to save his son, but his ghost family urges him to focus on being with them. He’ll find peace here. As the hitchhiker predicted, he’s lost a piece of himself. So, Jingles decides to stay. On one hand, it was a sweet scene. I’m glad he’s reunited with his family. On the other, I can’t imagine this being the end for Jingles.

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      Posted in TV | 1 Comment | Tagged 80s, Recap, TV
    • AHS 1984 Recap…The Lady in White

      Posted at 8:22 am by Geoff, on October 31, 2019

      This episode gave us some character backstories, a couple of AHS veterans, and an 80s pop group massacre. Fun.

      Camp Golden Star

      The opener is a flashback to 1948 at Camp Golden Star. We’ll learn later that this was the precursor to Redwood. Oh, AHS regular, Lily Rabe is there. I always liked her, especially in the Coven season. This time she’s playing Jingles’ mother. She works at the camp and also lives there with her sons Bobby (the favorite) and Benjamin (aka Jingles, the not-so-favorite). Btw, great casting with the kid who plays preteen Jingles. One day at the lake, Bobby is killed in a boating accident. Mother Jingles loses her shit and curses Benjamin, for not looking after his brother, and the counselors who also weren’t keeping an eye on her son. They were too busy having sex. Wait, is Bobby Jason Voorhies?

      At the roller rink

      After rescuing Brooke from execution, Donna takes her to a motel and helps her come down from the drug she gave her to make it appear like she was dead. Brooke recovers and hears about the music festival Margaret is throwing at Redwood. She vows revenge for the years that bitch took from her. Donna takes her to a roller rink to cheer her up. Cue the fun skating montage. It’s totally rad. Oh and then AHS regular Dylan McDermott (not Dermot Mulroney) pops up. I like these little cameos. Dylan is playing Bruce, a sketchy guy who asks the girls for a ride. Don’t do it! They refuse. Later, who should happen upon them when their car won’t start? Yep, Bruce. He fixes their car and Donna offers him a ride in return. On the road, Bruce starts to act creepy and the ladies want to kick him out. Unfortunately, a cop pulls up. Brooke is worried he’ll recognize her. The cop warns them about a killer who has been murdering women on this highway. Of course, Bruce is the guy. He shoots and kills the cop. The women manage to drive off. But Bruce catches up with them in the cop’s car and rear ends their car into a truck. They’re knocked unconscious and he kills the other driver. Brooke wakes up with a gun to her head and Donna tied to the back of the truck. Bruce gives her the choices of driving off and dragging her friend to her death or getting shot in the face. Is there a third option? A quick-thinking Brooke manages to get the upper hand, saving herself and Donna. They tie Bruce to a pole and cut his thumbs off. Eww, but deserved. Now it’s time to set off to Redwood. Watch out Margaret.

      Ghost Mommy Dearest

      Jingles shows up at camp and is promptly ambushed by the counselor ghosts. Nobody is happy to see him. Well, he did murder a large portion of the group. Montana, head bitch-ghost in charge, fills him in on what happened after they died. Their plan is to kill everyone at the festival in hopes of luring a ghostbuster to the camp who can figure out a way to get them out of purgatory. Seriously? That’s a stretch. They mention that there’s another ghost at camp. A lady in a white nightgown who terrorizes them. Jingles realizes that it’s his mother. He tells them about what happened to his brother in 1948. Afterwards, his mother butchered all of the counselors (Mrs. Voorhies-style) who let her son die. She tried to get Jingles too, but he accidently killed her instead. All of her blood and rage seeped into the ground. Back in the present day, Jingles speculates that this has caused the purgatory effect. He heads off to the cottage to confront his mother. Side note, they’re definitely channeling the 1988 horror classic Lady in White in this episode. That movie creeped me out as a kid. Anyways, Mama Jingles tells her son that she’s trapped at camp like the others. She’s still blames him for Bobby’s accident. The wrong son died. Ouch, mom. Furthermore, after seeing Jingles with Margaret back in 1970, she encouraged the nutty counselor to go on that killing spree. She really made her son’s life hell. And Christina Crawford thought she had it bad.  

      Too shy shy

      Meanwhile, Margaret is surveying the camp grounds with Trevor and her assistant, Courtney. I appreciated that this episode had less of her. Trevor sees Montana and follows her into the woods for a ghostly makeout session. Meanwhile, Kojagoogoo has arrived to play at the festival. Too bad for them, Raimrez also shows up. It turns out the group sold their souls to Satan in order to achieve fame. So that’s why “Too Shy” was so popular. The Night Stalker is here to collect on their promise. He slaughters Kojagoogoo! So that’s why they never had another hit. Down at the lake, Jingles is getting ready for his showdown with Ramirez. His mother appears. They have a temporary thaw when he tells her about his son and how he named him after Bobby. Ghost mom warns him that if Ramirez kills him, he’ll stay dead. But if Jingles offs himself, he’ll come back. Then he can take down the Night Stalker and protect his son. Jingles makes the sacrifice and stabs himself in the stomach. That made me a little sad. His ghost returns, ready to take on Ramirez.

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      Posted in TV | 0 Comments | Tagged 80s, Recap, TV
    • AHS 1984 Recap…Episode 100

      Posted at 8:14 am by Geoff, on October 24, 2019

      This week’s show was the 100th episode of AHS. It’s interesting to see how this series has evolved over the years. My favorite season was Asylum. Jessica Lange plays a great mean singing nun. The jury is still out on where 1984 will rate on the list, but this episode was pretty good at least.   

      Videoshack

      We’re in 1985…wait that’s not the show I signed up for. Anyways, Nightstalker and Jingles are still hanging out and killing people. Well, just Nightstalker. Jingles is sick of him and his murderous ways. When he gets a chance, he tips off a community to his psycho travel companion. They catch Nightstalker and beat the crap out of him as Jingles rides off into the sunset. Cut to 1989 and Jingles has moved to Juno, Alaska to start over. He has a wife, kid, and a job at a video store. Sounds like a nice quaint life. He’s gotten over what happened at Redwood and has finally found happiness. Since this is AHS, his good fortune is short-lived. Nightstalker finds him (I’m sure Satan helped) and kills his wife. A devastated Jingles leaves his son in the care of his wife’s sister and heads back to Redwood to take on his old enemy.

      Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

      In 1989, Margaret has made a fortune off of buying properties associated with serial killers and turning them into tourist traps. They mention Briarcliff, a nod to Asylum. Oh, and Trevor is her husband. No, he’s not another ghost. It turns out he survived Margaret stabbing him. When he woke up from his coma, he blackmailed her into being his sugar mama. She did him one better and married him, so he couldn’t testify against her. Four years later and he’s sick of her. Join the club. The only bright spot is Leslie Jordan playing her assistant. I love his brand of kookiness.

      Back to camp

      Years after being killed, Montana, Xavier, and Ray are still stuck in Camp Purgatory. They’re joined by the ghosts of the counselors from the 1970 massacre. Purgatory is crowded. Xavier and Montana enjoy killing hapless campers who stumble upon Redwood. Ray normally cleans up after them, but finally gets fed up after they butcher two new people. The bodies are discovered, bringing media attention to the camp. Margaret seizes on the opportunity and decides to have a musical festival at the camp. Like a bloody Coachella. While giving a press conference, Chet (forgot about him) and Montana watch from the bushes. They’re itching to take down Margret. Again, join the club.

      On death row

      Brooke has the worst luck in the 1989 flashforward. She’s been sentenced to death for the camp massacre and is set to be executed at San Quentin. On death row, she encounters Nightstalker who tries to get her to come to the dark side. He says Satan will save her. She tells him to fuckoff. Nice. On the day of her execution, Margaret and Trevor are in the gallery watching. Brooke correctly assumes Margaret is there and tells her that she’ll burn in hell for what she did. Fingers crossed. Meanwhile, thru the power of Satan, Nightstalker possess a guard and breaks out. And head to Juno. Back in the execution chamber, Brooke is given a lethal injection and pronounced dead. Or so we think. Her body is wheeled off to the morgue by the executioner and she’s given a drug to revive her. The injection must of have just been a sedative. And it turns out the executioner is Donna/Rita. Surprise, bitch!

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      Posted in TV | 0 Comments | Tagged 80s, Recap, TV
    • AHS 1984 Recap…Red Dawn

      Posted at 8:07 am by Geoff, on October 17, 2019

      Things got whacky this week at camp. Revelations, confessions, and sexual situations. And, of course, stabbings.

      Papa was a serial killer

      We get a Donna flashback at the top of the show. Back in 1980, she discovered that her father was a psychotic killer who butchered women. There’s too much disembowelment on this show. She begged him to stop. but he killed himself instead. This led her to studying serial killers. Daddy issues. Back in the present, freshly reborn Richard explains to Donna that Satan brought him back to life. I was right! Again! He also tells her that she has the same darkness inside that her father possessed. A vision of her father pops up to confirm this. Donna refuses to believe it. Fight the evil, girl.

      Ghost Sex

      Xavier is still losing his shit about not escaping Redwood, so Margaret knocks him out. The group takes him back to a cabin to hide out. Margaret claims she saw a couple of campers across the lake. She convinces Chet take a canoe ride over there with her and look for help. Of course, it’s a lie. She beats the crap out of him, cuts off his ear, and tosses him overboard. That crazy bitch. Meanwhile, Brooke spots Ray wandering around outside. What? Didn’t he get his head chopped off last week? She runs outside and catches up with him. He’s disoriented and doesn’t remember what happened to him. They hear Jingles coming and seek shelter in the dining hall. After having a nice heart-to-heart talk Brooke and Ray decide to hookup since they probably won’t make it through the night. Solid reasoning. Later, Brooke reveals that Ray was her first. Then the no-longer-virginal-maybe-final girl finds Ray’s severed head in the dining hall fridge. Oh, that’s where that went. She freaks out and runs off. Eh, I would have taken my chances with the ghost who just popped my cherry rather than go outside.

      I’ll never be on the cover of TV Guide!

      Donna runs into the cabin, finding Montana and Xavier. She confesses that she helped Jingles escape. Xavier blames her for his oven-roasted face and tries to kill her. She runs, he follows. While hiding, Donna encounters Jingles who tells her that Margaret is the real killer. He never took any lives, outside of his Vietnam War days, until tonight. Donna feels guilty and wants Jingles to kill her, but he denies her request. He only wants to take out Margaret. He finds her at the archery area and nearly succeeds. Too bad Xavier decides to play hero and shoot Jingles full of arrows, killing him. Margaret thanks Xavier by gutting hm. After she leaves, Ramirez appears. Jingles comes back to life and the Night Stalker asks him if he’s ready to accept Satan as his savior. I’m thinking he’ll say yes to the Devil.

      Sunrise

      Montana tells Brooke that her psycho fiancée was her brother. And then she tries to strangle her. Brooke can’t catch a break. Running and catfighting ensue. Brooke manages to get the best of Montana and stabs the hell out of her, just as the bus with the little campers pulls up. Oh, hey, kids. Cut to the cops and EMTs showing up at camp. Brooke is hauled off in handcuffs. Margaret pops up, after stabbing herself, and claims that Brooke attacked everyone. I’m so sick of her. An EMT attempts to help Ray. He’s put in an ambulance and taken away. But then we see him back at camp. He can’t leave. The ghost hiker shows up and tells Ray this is home now. At the same time, ghost Montana pops up and shoots one of the cops. She has no qualms about killing people now that she’s dead. Oh, and it seems Camp Redwood is purgatory and they’re all stuck here. Fun. Meanwhile, Richard and Jingles have stolen a cop car and are able to ride out of camp. Like a batshit crazy murderous Thelma and Louise. I wonder how they’re able to leave Redwood.

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      Posted in TV | 0 Comments | Tagged 80s, Recap, TV
    • AHS 1984 Recap…True Killers

      Posted at 8:17 am by Geoff, on October 10, 2019

      This episode was a mixed bag of good, bad, and gross. Typical.

      I was right!

      Last week I threw out a theory that Montana was Brooke’s former fiancée’s sister. And it turned out to be true! Not so random after all. We find out that Montana met Richard Ramirez while she was teaching a Midnight Manrobics (an actual thing) class. He revealed his crazy colors when he killed a class member who disagreed with Montana’s music choice. Don’t mess with Billy Idol. She enlisted Ramirez in killing Brooke, in order to avenge her brother. Unfortunately for them, Brooke kept evading death. Dumb luck.

      That’s disgusting

      Xavier arrives at the dining hall to warn Chef Bertie about Jingles. Unfortunately, the camp killer shows up before they can escape. Xavier hides while a calm, yet freaked out, Bertie engages Jingles. She even makes his favorite PBJ sandwich, just like when they were coworkers at the camp. Stupid Xavier makes a noise and is discovered by Jingles. Bertie tries to help and is beaten down with a mallet. Then Jingles tosses Xavier in the oven and locks him in. We have to watch him melt under the heat and it’s as gross as it sounds. Luckily, Bertie is able to get him out. But, she’s near death from Jingles’ beating. She makes Xavier stab her in the heart to end her suffering. Poor Bertie. Xavier is horrified when he sees his reflection. That oven did a number on him. Later, when he runs into Jingles he hopes for death, but the killer spares him. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

      The real killer

      The truth about Jingles came out when he comes after Margaret. She fills him in on what actually happened back in 1970. It turns out, she tried to get Jingles to murder the other counselors who were bullying her. What’s with these women asking for murderous favors. When Jingles didn’t come thru, psycho Margaret took matters into her own hands and went on a gleeful killing spree. Then she framed Jingles for the crimes. He proclaimed his innocence, but was hauled off to the asylum anyways. Then he was given electroshock therapy that wiped his memory. So, when everyone told him he killed half the camp, he believed them. Back in the present, Jingles is floored by this revelation. When he tries to kill Margaret (again) she shoots him three times. She assumes he’s dead, but then he disappears when her back is turned. Doesn’t anyone check for a pulse? Later, Trevor shows up and Margaret stabs him to death. She intends to frame Jingles again. She tosses Trevor’s body in a car (the last working vehicle and way out of this hell hole) and lights it on fire. She claims God has given her the power to accept her true killer self. I knew this bitch was crazy, but I didn’t realize how crazy.

      Caught between two killers

      After escaping the shack where Donna was keeping her captive, Brooke falls into a trap set by the nutty psychologist. Donna explains how she broke Jingles out of the asylum so she could study him and now Brooke is her lab rat. Donna hides and waits for the killer to arrive. But Ramirez (tipped off by Montana) shows up instead. Before he can kill Brooke, Jingles arrives. It’s a serial killer showdown. Almost as entertaining as Freddy vs. Jason. Jingles triumphs when he impales Ramirez on a tree branch, headfirst. Eww. Meanwhile, Montana discovers Donna and they get into a Dynasty-style catfight. It would have been better in a lily pond. Montana knocks the psychologist out and takes off. Donna wakes up in time see Richard being magically resurrected. I’m guessing this is Satan’s work. After this week’s reveals, it doesn’t sound so farfetched.

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    • AHS 1984 Recap…Slashdance

      Posted at 8:45 pm by Geoff, on October 3, 2019

      After last week’s episode, I had almost given up on AHS 1984. It sucked that badly. I was going to let episode 3 hang out on my DVR, but there was nothing better to watch last night. Surprisingly, I liked the show again. So, I’ll give it another shot and throw out some thoughts here.

      Nurse who?

      It turns out Rita isn’t who she claims to be. She’s actually Donna Chambers (total porn star name), a psychologist who conned her away into the asylum so she could meet Jingles. She got through to the normally unresponsive killer by explaining that she didn’t think he was evil and that she could cure him. So, Donna breaks him out of the loony bin, points him in the direction of Camp Redwood, and lets him slaughter everyone so she can study him. What kinda crazy therapy is that? This explains how she was able to “escape” from Jingles earlier. Also, this plan won’t bite her in the ass or anything.

      Ray is a tool and a coward

      Ray proves to be a complete coward. He wants to cut his losses (his fellow Redwood staff members) and run from Ramirez. Luckily, Chet is kinder and saves him from the Night Stalker. Ray repays him by leaving Chet behind after the former Olympian is impaled on a spike in a ditch. Great guy. We also hear Ray’s backstory from his fraternity days. After a pledge fell down a flight of stairs, Ray assumed he was dead and decided to cover up the accident to protect his brothers. Naturally, the pledge was alive. Check for a pulse, stupid! But he only discovered that as he was sending the kid over a cliff in a car. Yikes. Back at Redwood, Ray runs away, again, leaving Montana alone with Ramirez. As he’s making his escape, Jingles jumps out of the bushes and chops his head off, mid-motorcycle ride. The douche had it coming.

      Less is more

      Thankfully there was less screen time for the lame characters this week. For some reason, Rita/Donna drugged Brooke and dragged her off. Bye, final girl. Chet was stuck being impaled most of the episode. Is it bad I was hoping he’d die? Gus Kenworthy is a horrible actor. And Camp Redwood owner, Margaret, didn’t even make an appearance. An hour free of her Christian ranting was welcomed.

      Twist at the end

      Right when you think Richard Ramirez was going to mangle Montana, they actually started kissing. Wtf? Then she said, “Why haven’t you killed her already?” Could she be talking about Brooke? My guess is that she has a connection to our dumb heroine. Wild guess: Montana is the sister of Brooke’s psycho fiancée and she blames her for her brother’s death. It’s wacky but not completely out there given what show we’re watching.

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      Posted in TV | 1 Comment | Tagged 80, Recap, TV
    • AHS 1984 Recap…Camp Redwood

      Posted at 11:08 pm by Geoff, on September 19, 2019

      It’s time for another season of American Horror Story. This time creator Ryan Murphy is paying homage to 1980s slasher movies. Think Friday the 13th Parts 1 through infinity. I always look forward to a new season of AHS and slasher movies are one of my favorite genres. So, this should be interesting…until it isn’t. This a Ryan Murphy show after all. In any event, these are my thoughts on episode one.

      1. Mr. Jingles is scary as hell

      A slasher movie (or tv show) is only as good as it’s killer and 1984 has gnarly one with Benjamin Richter aka Mr. Jingles. We learn that he was a Vietnam vet that REALLY liked killing the enemy. So much so that he went back for a second tour. His favorite thing was collecting the ears from his kills and making a necklace out of them. Eww. This led to a dishonorable discharge. Post-Vietnam, Richter got a job at Camp Redwood. They called him Mr. Jingles because of the jingling keys he always had on his hip. One summer night in 1970 he snapped, killing 9 counselors/campers and cutting off their ears. He was caught and sentenced to a mental institution. Cut to 1984 with Jingles busting out of the asylum and heading back to a newly reopened Redwood. He murders a few people on his way, naturally, and terrorizes poor Brooke (more on her in a bit). This man is a walking nightmare.

      2. The cast is pretty likeable

      Normally you don’t care who gets chopped up in a horror film. But in this case, I actually like a majority of the characters and hope they make it. They won’t of course. Good girl (and probable final girl) Brooke is the center of the group. She’s virginal, sweet, and demure. So many layers of clothing, even in summer. She’s not so bright though. Leaving your window open while you sleep so a crazed killer (the AHS rendition of the very real Night Stalker) can break in. Traipsing around the woods on a dark rainy night. Stay inside with the others! And after nearly being killed by Mr. Jingles she still goes outside by herself to answer a ringing pay phone. Geez. I have a feeling I’ll constantly be saying, “Oh, girl” or “Don’t do that, girl”, or “Run faster, girl!” a lot with Brooke. Hopefully she gets stronger and wiser over the course of the season. The rest of the counselors include: Xavier the aerobics instructor/aspiring actor. Montana, the bad ass chick. Nice muscle guy, Ray. And hothead muscle guy/former Olympic team member, Chet. Then there are the other employees: smart no nonsense Nurse Rita, grizzled Chef Bertie, and activities director Trevor. Special attention must be paid to Trevor’s junk. He has a huge wang that is showcased in very tiny 80s shorts. Basically, his schtick is his schlong. Lastly, there’s camp owner Margaret Booth. She survived the 1970 massacre (minus a left ear) because of Jesus (her words). I can tell her strict religious nature is gonna get old. I might not mind if she’s offed.  

      3. The nods to other scary movies are fun

      I enjoy a good homage and 1984 has plenty. Obviously, this entire show is a callback to Friday the 13th. The 80s, a maniac on the loose, chase scenes in the woods, and horny counselors. You expect Jason to pop up at any moment. That’s his thing after all. There’s also a nod to Halloween. When Jingles breaks out of the nut house, he opens the cells of the other patients. They’re roaming the lawns just like in the beginning of the original Halloween. Then there’s the gas station attendant who warns the kids from going up to Redwood. Pretty standard to have an all-knowing townie. Here’s something, if you live in a town where scary shit went down wouldn’t you move away? Heed your own warning, gas guy. And similar to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the gang picks up a freaky guy on the side of the road. In this case, after they mow him down.

      4. All the mysteries

      Who left the threatening message on Xavier’s answering machine? What was that phone call about at the end? Who was watching from the van as Montana and Trevor “splashed around” in the lake? What happened to the hiker’s body? How did the Night Stalker find Brooke? Why ears? Again, ewww. So many questions that I’m looking forward to getting answered.

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    • BH90210 Recap…The Long Wait #BH90210 #RenewBH90210

      Posted at 5:17 pm by Geoff, on September 12, 2019

      We’ve come to the end of the road. Like a sad Boyz II Men song. It’s time to wrap up everything for the last episode. Fingers crossed that there’s more in the future. 

      The cast has gathered at the Peach Pit for the reboot wrap party. Everyone’s surprised that they actually finished the pilot. Now they just have to wait…and wait for news about a pickup. Unfortunately, The O.C. made their own reboot that’s vying for a slot on Fox’s schedule. To be honest, I never got into that show. Orange County can’t compete with Beverly Hills. Just look at their Real Housewives.

      Meanwhile, Jennie is getting attitude, again, from her teenage daughter. Oh joy, she’s in this episode. Much to her annoyance, Kyler idolizes Shannen. Who wouldn’t? Brian fills her in on Jennie and Shannen’s frenemy years. This includes the red dress story. Side note, that was a real thing. At the 90210 season three cast photo shoot, Jennie, Shannen, and Tori all wanted to wear a red dress (see photo above). It was a bloodbath. Well, not literally.

      Shay confesses to Brian that she had her private investigator run a DNA test on Zach. Brian, you are not the father! He’s more upset about Shay doing this behind his back than he is about the truth. He accuses her of hating Zach from the start because the relationship wasn’t about her and she couldn’t control it.  LaLa’s acting is atrocious throughout these scenes, as usual. On a similar note, Tori and her husband, Nate, continue to fight about the reboot. He finally admits that he’s jealous because the focus is on her while his career is flagging. Such a whiner. Tori and Brian commiserate over their horrible spouses and wonder if they would have been better off marrying other people. Just get together already!

      Jennie breaks up with Wyatt after he reveals that he got her initials tattooed on his chest. Oh no, bodyguard. In the Caribbean, Jason tries to make a vacation work with Camille. She forces him to admit that he can’t accept raising another man’s baby. They amicably call it quits. This opens the door for a Jennie/Jason “reboot”. Again, just get together already!!

      After an awkward run between Christine and her husband, Phil, Gabrielle comes clean to him about the hookup. He’d already guessed. That lesbionic tension was obvious. Gabrielle promises that she won’t keep him waiting indefinitely while she figures out what she wants. Meanwhile, Ian and Anna are in a NSA relationship, but he wants more. She tells him she’s not feeling that, especially since her mom is an actor. She can’t date one too. This prompts Ian to hookup with Denise Richards (a real original 90210 guest star). Later, it’s revealed that Denise is Anna’s mother. Ian’s appeal truly is multi-generational.

      While waiting for the pilot news, the gang manages to get their hands on the feedback from the test audiences who have seen it. These people are not kind. Everyone gets trashed, sending the cast into a tailspin. My favorite comments are from the viewers who thought Brenda and Brandon had inappropriate sibling chemistry. Just like the old days. And the audience members who wanted Brenda to be a troublemaker. No, that was Kelly. “Kelly was a slut!” (Shannen’s words, not mine)

      The cast hustles at the Peach Pit Pop-Up, meeting fans and signing autographs. Side note, this was a real thing in LA recently and I’m still sad that I couldn’t go. No megaburgers for me. Shannen shows up late, covered in blood, because she had to rescue a possum that had been hit by a car. Is there any animal she won’t save? Christine informs them that there’s only one slot left on Fox’s schedule. It’s between 90210 and The O.C. The latter tested higher. Damn you, Mischa Barton. They’ll find out tomorrow which one gets picked up.

      Brian throws a BBQ at his place so everyone can get drunk while they wait for news. Zach shows up and Brian confronts him about the paternity results. Zach had no clue. His mother always told him that Brian was his dad. Brian assures him that, despite the results, he’ll still be in his life. Later, Brian also reports back to Jason about the paternity drama. He shows him a picture that Zach has of his mom with Brian, back in the 90s. Jason remarks that she looks familiar. And who happens to be in the background of the pic? Jason. He has a flash and seems to be putting something together. Jason, you are the father! Maybe.

      The gang learns that the pilot has been picked up. Suck it, O.C. They fly to NY for the network upfronts. Hilariously, Jennie, Shannen, and Tori all arrive to the presentation wearing red dresses. Bloodbath, part deux. On top of that, Christine has more news: they have to redo the pilot, Anna is fired, they need new guest stars (sorry, Kyler), the series will shoot in Canada, and the network can’t afford to bring all seven cast members back. Yikes. Despite these bombshells, the cast has to walk out on stage and meet the press. They put smiles on their faces, hold hands, and march out. Well at least they’re together for now. The end…or is it???#RenewBH90210

      Other 9021Notes

      The lame spouses and kids really brought the episode to a screeching halt every time they popped up. Nobody wants to see these fools.

      Ian’s dream about 2019 Steve Sanders going back to the future to impart wisdom to his 1990s counterpart was funny. Stay away from mullets and midriff shirts, Sanders.

      Shannen’s dream about Brenda and Brandon having a “flowers in the Casa Walsh attic” moment was pretty great too.

      That was a good use of Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” at the upfronts.

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